Two Words That Will Take You to the Holy Land of Acceptance
With a list of common things the author is trying to be a little more accepting of
--
Lice will find you, people will hit Reply All and Do Not Call lists are only marginally effective. Oh well.
Dogs will be dogs, every time, in every way. Oh well.
Hemorrhoids and stretch marks are forever. Oh well.
Experts make mistakes and parenting books have limited applicability. Ditto diets. Oh well.
The great love of your life will never stop running a little late, making that sound when he chews and the repeating himself stuff will only get worse. Oh well.
You will never really understand your bank fees or how the Internet router works. Oh well.
Unless you knock yourself out, with the night comes the worry. Oh well.
A lot of people aren’t that into vulnerability. Oh well.
99%* of kids quit playing piano. 87%* ignore their pet. 65%* stop reading books. (*roughly speaking based on zero studies.) Oh well.
Your kids will kiss you in the morning and be seriously despicable to you in the afternoon, even when you’re driving them around the neighborhood they could easily traverse on foot because you are late getting them to Bridget’s house and BRIDGET IS WAITING! Oh well.
It will take you at least a decade to get your children to say Please and Thank You without clearing your throat or holding your hand up to your ear. It will take two decades for them to mean it. Oh well.
Your children will not brush their teeth or wear their retainers. Even after they are old enough to shave their armpits and definitely like boys, they will neglect the most dominant thing on their face, the make or break feature right there in the middle. Oh well.
Your children will be rejected. Oh well.
Your children will fib about eating cookies and lima beans. Come middle school, the lies will get bigger. Like they might tell a group of friends that you and your husband are getting a divorce when really, everything’s fine. Oh well.
